Me Before We Met

Assalamualaikum.

I was on the internet browsing through different pages, songs, clips and some other reading materials, something came across. "One who is good now, may have been bad in the past and one who's not so good now, may changed in the future. Moving on and changing for the better is the privilege posses by everybody."
It was not really put down exactly like that. That was my conclusion for the things that I read and watched. It's true indeed.

It make me think. Where am I now? One who's bad in the past or one who's still somewhat not-so-good now.

In a sense, I think I am better than before.
I'm a degree holder -  I was just a student before.
I am more positive than before - I was a very negative all over before.
*and many other which I think is not suitable to be stated here.

But in some other, I think I'm still a not-so-good person.
I am still not wearing hijab/tudung just yet.
I am still a short-tempered person.
*and many other which I think is embarrassing to be stated.

I am still lingering and still trying to find my own definition of a good person. I know our definition of a good person will never be the same. I will not want to say this type of person is good or that type of person is bad. Who am I to judge in the first place anyway? It's not that I don't have my stand. I have. But I am really afraid to state which is right and which is not. My bad maybe good to others, their bad maybe good to me. However, I will always keep my faith strong, Insya-Allah. *tidak akan saya mengiakan yang tidak. sebagaimana saya dengan jelasnya mengetahui ke'tidak'annya. Kalau berdosa ia, kekal saya mengatakan ia dosa. I will always want to change for the better. I will always seek for the truth. I will always try to be a better person than who I was. 

Things which I am very grateful now, is the thing which i have taught my heart to do. I used to be very volatile. I used to be very negative. I used to jump into conclusion. I used to always misjudged the situation. I used to always be very aggressive in defending myself. However, today I am not all volatile anymore. I am not all negative anymore. I taught myself to look on the bright side in every situation. I taught myself to always believe in Qada' and Qadar. And foremost, I managed to only think good about other, and forgive those who had mistreated me. Yes. I've done that. I forgive every one who had done bad things to me. Forgiving is not for the other, it's for myself. By forgiving I am releasing myself from hatred and ill feelings. Alhamdulillah.

I've taken one step towards the betterment.