Pissed Off

Yes. Looking at the title, it would be enough to describe what I feel. I am a final year student in UKM, taking TESL. I got Kementerian Pelajaran  Malaysia Scholarship. As we all know that most students in IPTA or IPTS in Malaysia get loan from PTPTN. ALMOST all. ok. So to say, MOST of the students get either PTPTN or KPM. It's fair right? We all have our source of money to study. And some other are fully sponsored by PAMA or father/mother.


We have been paying RM 1/week for the last few semesters. What's the money for? We will have gathering or BBQ at the end of the semester using that money. To me, it's fair enough, we get something from what we paid.


As for this semester (final semester) the treasurer asks us to pay RM2/week. which is RM28/semester. why? we planned to go for a trip by the end of this semester. Most probably we'll go to Langkawi.


OK now, what makes me pissed?




A paper has been distributed regarding the increasing of RM1 for the fees. That paper is supposed to tell the rest of the class about the fee.

"Korang, duit kelas kita sem ni seminggu RM2. sem ni = 14 weeks. so, I hope it is okay with you guys.."

 And when it has been passed around, it got back to my friend's hand with a few 'comment' from some classmates.


This is the comment which makes me pissed off.






"kenapa mahal sangat? kitaorg ptptn je...KPM lain laa.... seminggu seringgit sudahhhhh....! ta nak byk2..."






Urgh!! Do you really have to say things like that? This thing has been said since the first time the KPM holder get their allowance. I didn't really pay attention to that statement back then. But when they keep on saying like that, like; CONSTANTLY, it starting to get on my nerve. 




Here's what I want to say. I don't want to boast. But I feel bad as well.
We did not get the allowance by luck or chance. We work hard for it. 




KPM, PTPTN, what's the difference? It's just the matter of how you manage yourself. 
If you want to get good things, you have to work hard. Don't just sit there and complain, blaming and teasing the other. Because one way or another, it hurts. 

I Will Crumble

If you want to sleep I'll pull the shade

If you should vanish I'm sure to fade

If you should smolder I'll breathe in your smoke

If you should giggle

I'll smile and pretend that I made the joke

And if you should ever leave me I will crumble

That's just the way I am

I hope you never leave me

That is to say

If you should sink I don't want to swim

If you lock the door I'll beg to come in

If you should sing I won't make a sound

If you should fly I'll curse the ground

And if you should ever leave me I will crumble

That's just the way I am

I hope you never leave me

That is to say

If you're an explosion I won't search for shelter

If you're the sun I'll sit here and swelter

If you're the moon I'll stay up all night

If you're a ghost I'll be haunted for life

And if you should ever leave me I will crumble
That's just the way I am,
I hope you never leave me
That is just say...
I will crumble, I will crumble
And I will crumble
I will crumble, I will crumble
I will crumble, I will crumble

This is a song taken from Wuthering Heights (2003) which I  recently watched. This is an old movie. 

This movie is a modern-day adaptation from a  classic novel by Emily Bront.

A brief synopsis of this movie : 

Cate's mother died when she was young and her family took in Heath. Heath and Cate have fallen in love and their lives are set together until Cate and Heath meet some new neighbors (edward and isabel) and Cate's father dies. As they separate they struggle to find each other again as Cate marries another man and Heath becomes a successful musician.

I fall in love with the song the first time I heard it. I know it sounded like a hopelessly in love loner or heartbroken lover. Still i found the song captivating and soothing. 

And yes, I fell in love with Mike Vogel. 

Chopear!

Last Friday, aku pegi Mid Valley, konon-konon nak pegi Chocolate Fair. Memang pegi pon, okeh-okeh lah Chocolate Fair tu. At first pergi dengan classmate, pegi berempat. (miza, ika, & conoi). Lepas tu, aku join plak kawan-kawan RA. Yang ni, ramai sket. Er... Pegi Chocolate Fair, jalan-jalan, amik sume tester, lepas tu, rasa cam nak muntah sebab bau chocolate sana-sini, baru kuar dari hall tu. 

Ini ialah saya 

Ini ialah saya dan Yana.

Ini pula, Ika dan Konoi.

Dan ini ialah saya dan Mizu-mizu.

Jalan-jalan, beli macam-macam gak la. Kasut, purse untuk adik, accessories, and a few little stuff. Kaki sakit, tapi shopping kan? Rugi kalo nak merungut lebih-lebih. Hihi! 


Tapi, tapi, tapi, yang paling best skali, I get myself a CHOPEAR. Nak tau apa chopear tu? hikhik! Ni ar Chopear.

Ini ialah seorang Guinea Pig, yang diberi nama, CHOPEAR. Nape Chopear? Because i get her during the chocolate fair. And one of my friends said, "elok la tu. badan dia pon da macam pear". hikhik! 
She's cute and I love her. 

Si penulis dan si pembaca untuk satu-satu cerita

Kamu menulis.

seperti tiada yang membaca.

Kamu menulis.

mencurah semua di dada.

Kamu menulis.

kamu ghairah untuk bercerita. 

Kamu menulis.

Seperti semuanya "tidak apa".

Kamu menulis.

Kamu tak tahu ruang pembaca.

Kamu menulis.

menjadikan dia sebagai focus utama.

Kamu menulis.

mengharap ia menjadi satu epic cerita cinta.

Kamu menulis.

kamu tak tahu, ada hati bakal terluka.

Kamu menulis.

cerita cinta yang aku berwatak sampingannya.

Kamu menulis.

mengagung-agungkan si dia.

aku membaca.

meneka cerita sebenar.

aku membaca.

aku sedar apa yang berlaku di balik ia.

aku membaca.

mencari kesimpulannya.

aku membaca.

dan aku berlalu.

tak mahu menjadi si antagonis tak bersuara.

aku membaca.

aku tahu.

kamu juga terluka.

aku membaca.

lalu aku putuskan. 

semoga kamu menemui bahagia.

dengan tulisan dan luahan itu. 

kerana pernah di situ pernah berbuat yang sama. 

Hero saya, dia.

saya gembira. 

tak tahu kenapa. 

cuma tengok dia. 

buat saya sangat gembira. 

saya teruja.

buat apa-apa ingat dia.

ye cuma dia.

dia pernah buat saya tersengih. 

dia juga pernah buat saya menangis.

semua yang dia ada, 

buat saya jatuh cinta. 

dulu dia savior, 

dalam mimpi-mimpi saya pon dia datang juga.

masa dia mati dulu, 

sedih sangat nye saya.

tapi takpe.

sekarang dia muncul semula.

awak tak tahu kenapa,

saya pon tak pandai nak cerita.

sebab dia yang terbaik, 

yang pernah saya jumpa.

kenapa awak kata?

ok lah...

sebab dia, 

WENTWORTH MILLER. 

Love-Above the Golden State

I pray for love like Yours for me 
I pray for love like Yours for me 

I pray for love more and more 
That I might have love like Yours 
A love that shines upon the earth 
A love that fills the ocean floors 

I pray for peace like rivers flow 
I pray for joy like fountains glow 
A faith that moves the mountains to seas 
But most of all 

I pray for love like Yours for me 
I pray for love like Yours for me, yeah 

I pray for love more and more 
That I might have love like Yours 
A love that goes from east to west 
A love that has no height or depth 

I pray for peace like rivers flow 
I pray for joy like fountains glow 
A faith that moves the mountains to seas 
But most of all 

I pray for love like Yours for me 
I pray for love like Yours for me, yeah 

I pray for peace like rivers flow 
I pray for joy like fountains glow 
I pray for truth and grace over me 
I pray for strength, this hope I believe 
A faith that moves the mountains to seas, yeah, yeah 
But most of all 

I pray for love like Yours for me 
I pray for love like Yours for me 
I pray for love like Yours for me 
I pray for love like Yours for me 

Gembira tapi tak hepi

1.1.11. 

Pagi-pagi  pukul 5 aku pegi mendaki Broga Hill dengan kawan-kawan RA. Penat tak terkata la. Memang penat. Dah la dengan tak stretching apa sume. Takot je cramp kaki masa naik tu. Tapi Alhamdulillah takde apa yang jadi pon. Cume masa naik tu, rasa kejang je kaki aku. Tapi aku buat tak tau, naik gak la. Bile sampai atas, fuuh! Angin dia sejuk. Best woo..da peluh-peluh tu, tiba-tiba angin sejuk bertiup. Heaven if I were to exaggerate. hihi! 

Lepas tu, kite sume duduk-duduk, borak-borak, amik gambar. Cerah sket, nampak la awan-awan yang cantik. Matahari pon tunjuk muka. Waaa.. Masa tu sangat cantik. Terbayar penat lelah sume-sume. Diorang-diorang bersepakat nak duduk je kat check point pertama. Tapi aku nak naik lagi. Rugi kot kalo tak naik sampai abes. 

So, jalan lah lagi, amik-amik gamba lagi. Alhamdulillah, indah sungguh ciptaan Allah s.w.t. 

Lepas kat Broga Hill tu, kite pegi Sungai Gabai plak. Oh! Journey yang ni memang aku tak boleh terima la. Tangga dia tinggi sangat. Mendaki Broga pon tak sakit camni. Banyak kali aku berhenti. Tapi nak tak nak, sampai jugak ke atas dan bermandi mandalah kami di sana. Makan makanan yang simple tapi sedap. *lapar, sedap la.

OKEH! HABIS DAH PART GEMBIRA. 

Lepas balik dari BROGABAI tu, aku pon balik, tido kejap kat bilik. Bangun-bangun je rasa lapar + cam ada kegatalan tangan nak membuat pembaziran.Pegi Mines dengan kawan. Nak carik phone. Bajet aku dalam RM700. Awal-awal aku nak beli Nokia E5. Aku pon membuat survey, dapat harga RM710 kat kedai pertama. Ok dah tu. Lepas tu, gatal lagi kaki. Pegi tengok kat kedai lain plak. Kedai lain tu, dia nak amik Sony Ericsson Yari aku, RM 200. Dia punye putar belit cerita, dia offer Nokia E71, aku cume kena tambah RM600. Aku mintak original set, Avaxx or Zitron. Ntah camne ntah, dia cite-cite, aku pon beli la fon tu. 

Bile balik, aku belek-belek, phone tu bukan original set, dia AP set. Bengang di situ. Aku pon rasa tak puas ati. Aku nak mintak tukar. Sebab dia bagi harga untuk set original. Tapi aku dapat AP set. Rasa kene tipu. 

Sket-sket gamba yang di ambil dari kawan aku. 

awal-awal pendakian. gigih! 

kat Gabai. 

Selepas turun. Muka pon da terurus. 

Cantik. Alhamdulillah, ciptaan Allah s.w.t

Kejaiban ke 8 dalam dunia:
dia diam sebab tak cukup nafas nak membebel. 

Siap bawak bantal lagi ok. 

Sume masih bersemangat. 

2.1.11 

Lepas melawat kawan kat Hospital Serdang, aku pon pegi Mines dengan kawan-kawan aku tu. Pegi kedai tu, dia kata, "semalam u memang mintak set ini la." Aku cakap aku tanak AP set. Aku nak tukar Original set. Dia kata, tak dapat nak tukar. Kalau nak tukar Nokia E71 tu kene tambah lagi RM400 lebih kurang lagi. -pergh!! Hangin tol aku. Lepas da bincang + pikir + tolak rasa tak puas ati tu, aku pon ikot la cadangan kawan-kawan aku, amik je Nokia E5. Tapi. Yang paling TAK best. Kene tambah lagi RM240. Ni memang haram. Aku pon da malas nak sakit ati lagi. Aku bayar cam bayar RM240 kat budak pengkid tu. Aku blah. 

Tapi kat sini, memang aku tak puas ati. Gile2. Lepas je dari kedai tu, aku menjerit memaki hamun. Ye, memang nampak sangat tak sopan. Tapi geram tersangatnye. MENCAROT! 

Sampai ke saat ni, aku masih rasa tak best + bengang. 

hurgh! 

Dalam gembira aku spend masa dengan kawan-kawan pon, aku masih tak hepi dengan kejadian bodoh tu.