your hands

it is mine.
kept saying that to you.
it's the biggest.
it's true i said it to you.
it's rough.
but still i love it.
it's hard.
love it like i love you.

it's mine.
they way it touches.
it's mine.
the way it caress.
it's mine.
the way it love.
it's mine.

Me Before We Met

Assalamualaikum.

I was on the internet browsing through different pages, songs, clips and some other reading materials, something came across. "One who is good now, may have been bad in the past and one who's not so good now, may changed in the future. Moving on and changing for the better is the privilege posses by everybody."
It was not really put down exactly like that. That was my conclusion for the things that I read and watched. It's true indeed.

It make me think. Where am I now? One who's bad in the past or one who's still somewhat not-so-good now.

In a sense, I think I am better than before.
I'm a degree holder -  I was just a student before.
I am more positive than before - I was a very negative all over before.
*and many other which I think is not suitable to be stated here.

But in some other, I think I'm still a not-so-good person.
I am still not wearing hijab/tudung just yet.
I am still a short-tempered person.
*and many other which I think is embarrassing to be stated.

I am still lingering and still trying to find my own definition of a good person. I know our definition of a good person will never be the same. I will not want to say this type of person is good or that type of person is bad. Who am I to judge in the first place anyway? It's not that I don't have my stand. I have. But I am really afraid to state which is right and which is not. My bad maybe good to others, their bad maybe good to me. However, I will always keep my faith strong, Insya-Allah. *tidak akan saya mengiakan yang tidak. sebagaimana saya dengan jelasnya mengetahui ke'tidak'annya. Kalau berdosa ia, kekal saya mengatakan ia dosa. I will always want to change for the better. I will always seek for the truth. I will always try to be a better person than who I was. 

Things which I am very grateful now, is the thing which i have taught my heart to do. I used to be very volatile. I used to be very negative. I used to jump into conclusion. I used to always misjudged the situation. I used to always be very aggressive in defending myself. However, today I am not all volatile anymore. I am not all negative anymore. I taught myself to look on the bright side in every situation. I taught myself to always believe in Qada' and Qadar. And foremost, I managed to only think good about other, and forgive those who had mistreated me. Yes. I've done that. I forgive every one who had done bad things to me. Forgiving is not for the other, it's for myself. By forgiving I am releasing myself from hatred and ill feelings. Alhamdulillah.

I've taken one step towards the betterment.

Kesyukuran Saya

Alhamdulillah. Hari ini masih bernyawa. Masih menghirup udara segar. Masih merasa sejuknya angin hujan.
Dugaan datang bertimpa. "Selepas satu, satu jatuh. Redha saya pada yang jadi. Ikhlas saya dalam kata-kata. Ikhlas saya dalam urusan saya. Astaghfirullah di saat dada sempit." Terluah dari dalam hati. Terluah dari dalam dada. Semua yang terasa, semua yang dicerna oleh hati, saya telan semua. Pahit kelat, telan juga. Tidak kerana tiada pilihan kedua malah ketiga. Kerana ini semua kurniaan-Nya. Tiada dugaan tak mampu di lalui. Tiada dugaan tak mampu dijalani. "Allah tidak akan menduga seandainya Dia tahu hambanya tidak mampu menanggungnya." Sekiranya Maha Pencipta percaya akan kudrat dan semangat saya, siapa saya untuk meraguinya? Siapa kita untuk persoal takdir tulisan ketentuan-Nya? Jalannya hidup kita, mungkin terasa seperti kita yang memilih jalan laluan penceritaannya. Tapi tidak ada satu pun akan berlaku tanpa keredhaan-Nya. Mengapa perlu mempersoal? Allah itu lebih mengetahui, malah perancang segalanya, apatah lagi Dia adalah pencipta segenap alam maya.

Cabaran hidup saya terasa amat berat di kala menanggungnya. Sesaat menyaksi dugaan dan cabaran yang lainnya, syukur saya, Allah menyedarkan saya, dugaan saya tidaklah seberapa. Alhamdulillah untuk kesedaran yang tidak terlalu lewat datangnya. Tidak bekerja. Ramai senasib yang sama. Tidak mempunyai kertas bersegi empat biru, hijau, merah dan turquoise yang banyak. Masih lagi berpeluang bernafas sihat walafiat dibumi yang serba indah dan mewah. Alhamdulillah. Di saat kesukaran terasa, Allah tunjukkan pula, akan ada rezeki di mana-mana dalam pelusuk dunia. Alhamdulillah. Diterima bekerja sebermula Isnin, 21 November 2011. Alhamdulillah saya bersyukur.Alhamdulillah saya gembira. Terima kasih ya Allah untuk rezeki ini.

Semoga rasa syukur dalam dada tak pernah putus. Doa saya sebelum menutup mata, semoga sihat-sihat semua, ibu bapa, adik beradik, rakan-rakan serta saudara mara. Semoga rezeki yang diberkati, dikurnia kepada kita semua.

Asalamualaikum.

Little Thing Which Made My Day..

Graduation dah lama dah. Tapi takde upload sini pon. Sebab, Erm...takde mood.
Dalam saya yang takde mood nak upload, ada sorang ni yang dah upload dalam blog dia.
Dia, anak sedara saya... Ahh...comel kot!!!

Ucapan paling best untuk graduation yang saya dapat.

Actly nak sangat ikut , tapi tak dapat :'\ Nevermind lah , Cik Yah I love you . Wish you a great life and a good job :D

Sincerely
Hantu Raya Kembo xD

kita duduk

kita duduk dalam lapang.
Tak datang erti makna senang.
Kita duduk dalam kelam.
Tak paham rasa bila terang.
Kita duduk dalam senang.
Kita tak tahu pengajaran dlm pelajaran.

Tapi kita selalu alpa.
Tapi kita suka lupa.

kita duduk dalam susah.
Kita sedar erti payah.
Kita duduk dalam resah.
Kita rasa manis usaha.

Kejap kita rasa.
Kejap juga kita lupa.
Kejap kita gembira.
Tak lambat juga datang sedihnya

Penulis tak mencari pembaca.

Tulis.
Tulis apa itu rasa.
Tulis apa itu maksud.
Tulis apa itu makna.
Tulis juga apa itu perasaan.

Baca.
Jangan baca huruf.
Jangan baca tulisan.
Jangan baca simbolnya.
Jangan baca ceritanya.

Tulisan itu penyataan.
Tulisan itu kiasan.
Tulisan itu juga pengkisahan.


Yang terzahir cuma luaran.
Yang ternampak cuma tulisan.

Jika pandai dinilai diertikan.
Ia guru yang memberi pelajaran.

just

just when i woke up this morning,
my sky are brighter and orange.

just when i want to close my eyes,
in my mind there you lies.

just when i thought that i don't need anybody,
you gave me the real reason of needing somebody.

just when i feel secure in my tiny little world,
i am drown in your flowery soothing words.

just what i want is,
for you to want me back.

just what i need is,
for you to need me back.

just what i love is,
how u show your love.