"Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood." William Penn
Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Monday, November 7, 2011

Sesuatu Yang di Kutip Dari Tulisan Lama (1) "Tears and Smile"

Both smile and tears play significant role in expressing emotion. From what I learnt in Emotion Management, it is proven across culture that laughing is an expression of happiness and crying is an expression of sadness. But in some other time and situation, different things could happen; it happens the other way around.
Tear is a tool of expressing feelings. Most of the time, it became a manifestation of sadness. But there are some other times people would cry of happiness. ‘Tears of joy’ some would say. I have witnessed it a few times. A friend of mine can’t help it but to cry after a moment of laughing. Amazing how one would cry out of happiness. But I take it as her expression of being super happy on that particular time. That proves that we are having a real good moment together as friends that she can move to tears from a wackiest laugh. That’s fine with my other friends and me.
‘Tears of joy’. I first heard of it when I watch a drama of one who had just deliver a baby. Most mothers would cry just after they hold their babies. Delivering babies is a miracle I would say. Just amazing of how a human being lives in and came out from a mother. That situation and feeling’s indescribable. Not that I have give birth to a baby, it just that, looking at a baby makes me feel the happiness that the mother felt. I would love to feel that one day.
To see one cry out of happiness is soothing enough but if it happens the other way around? What would you say?
One could laugh the loudest, wackiest and in most ridiculous way to hide her true feelings. I read somewhere; it says ‘when one smiles when she is supposed to cry, she is actually holding her most inner sadness inside’. *Something like that. It’s real hard to tell if one is in deep sad feelings when she is laughing. Maybe they are just not ready to share or maybe she thought that there’s not use of shedding tears for things which had happened. Or maybe it’s just too deep to bring it out surface.
I also share the same experience with a friend who tends to hide his sadness with a laugh. We hang out, we laugh, we smile, we talk, and I can’t trace a single sparks of sadness in his presence. He is almost the same as other friends that I talked to. One day, he told me that he is facing the hardest moment in his life. His family is breaking up, and he can’t do anything about that. That’s a big test for anyone who just can’t afford to lose grip. But he survived. I am happy and grateful that he can overcome what had happened.
I have some of those experience myself. Just when I want to cry hard, the tears just won’t come. I can literally feels the bitterness in my throat, but not a single tear came out. I swallow what I felt. Now I know that in the hardest moment and situation, our mind and consciousness tells us not to break down. Just breathe and pray that it would be okay. Thank God, I feel better then, and now.
Maybe in some rare moment, we tend to hide what we feel because it is too big and private to share with other. But we must never forget that there are a lot of people who are willing to share our happiness and sadness. Sadness which is shared became thinner; happiness which is shared became thicker.
SHARING IS CARING.


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

GROUP MATE and LICENSE

Oh yeah! eh.. Alhamdulillah, I've been blessed with another day with my nephews, Izz and Qayyum. Another beautiful day. 

What I've done today? Still. Same-O same-o. 

I helped my sister with her Hubungan Etnik assignment. She is doing her degree now. She's a teacher at a primary school. It is compulsory for a teacher to have degree nowadays. So, she is required to further her study. What seems to be the problem here is she has a very unproductive group mate. Why did I say so? Ok now, she has been bugging me to help her with the assignment for two weeks now. I had helped her. I've taught her how to write the assignment, how to get information from the books and internet. She had done quite well actually. She had divided the job since it is a group work. It has been a week since she last called her group mate regarding the assignment. Last Saturday we went to meet her.

 And guess what? She gave a very lame excuse. She said that she had done her part but her laptop were damaged by her two daughters. She has to sent the laptop to the 'kilang' and will not get it back within this 3 weeks. OK that's first. But if she had done the assignment, it would not be a problem to re-do it again since she must've known her points to write. BUT. She asked my sister, 'what should I put in the report?'. That's a NO NO question. It's obvious. She had done nothing yet. My sister made a decision to let her do her part and sent it to her on Thursday. Today, (Wednesday) she said that her laptop screen is blurred. What the fish my niece would say. 

Ok now I would say my gratitude. I am grateful that during my study, I had encounter just a few friends possessing the same traits or attitude. But somehow, these few friends does not work with me much. I am grateful that the people I worked with most are those who knew their job, do their part without lame excuses, and are very committed in doing their work. And it's never too much if I said they are the best group mate ever. They are my very best friend too. Alhamdulillah. 

LICENSE.

haha. funny right? what's so bizarre about license that I am grateful about? Well, I am 23 years old and I cannot drive. Of course it's bizarre for me. I'm registering this Saturday. huhu. silly. I know. Others had gained their license years ago. So what? at least I'm going to get one-at last. haha.

 BUT. I hate velocity. And I am afraid of it actually. I don't know. Maybe I'll drive like an old lady. Maybe I'll drive the slowest I can. I don't know. but I'll never know unless I get behind the wheel. I'll try my best. huhu.



“Individual commitment to a group effort -- that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”



Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Saya Ikot Saja

Saya dah tak rasa apa-apa.
Pelik tak tahu kenapa.
"Numb" senang kata.

Saya tengok kiri.
Saya tengok kanan.
Tapi dalam diri,
macam tak bagi kesan.

Saya rasa pelik.
Macam takde apa-apa nak jadi.
Saya tunggu je lah.
Apa-apa pun yang tiba.

Bukan berputus asa.
Putus harapan pun bukan juga.
Cuma saya,
Tak rasa apa-apa.
Semuanya, saya ikot saja.

What Am I Grateful For?


What I am grateful for today? First of all, the fact that I am still breathing in this world to feel the air, to hear the sound of the cars moving back and forth, I am still breathing to make another conversation with little Izz and the people around me. 

Okay now, There's nothing much I've done today. Same-O same-O stuff. Watching TV, web surfing, oh and yes, I manage to fast today. Alhamdulillah. 

 I watched Oprah today. It was the Farewell Season. Usually I don't watch Oprah, but somehow I watched it today, and I found that the episode was quite interesting. Today it was about animals. Special animals. 
What makes them special? There are just so many of them, I can't quite remember.

 There was a dolphin with no tail and they helped her; which eventually she became an inspiration to a little girl who wore hearing aid device. That little girl was ashamed with the device she wore but she saw the "tailless-dolphin" and she was inspired not to feel ashame of what she is. 

But what makes me feel very grateful today is a story of a two-legged dog-Faith, who was born handicapped. However, her owner, Jude Stringfellow, adopted Faith when the mother dog was found trying to smother the deformed puppy—her son rescued the puppy and brought her home. Many people, including veterinarians, advised that Faith be euthanized. Instead, using a spoon with peanut butter as an incentive, Jude taught Faith to hop but Faith decided on her own to walk; the family's corgi would bark at Faith from another room, or nip her heels to urge her to walk


Ok now, I know this is a very old story. What makes me write about Faith is because she made me realize how grateful I am to be born perfect with arms, senses and healthy mind. Alhamdulillah, I am very grateful for that. I am grateful that God had blessed me with great health. To those who were not as lucky as I am, I wish good life for them, I hope they will be very patient for this is the destiny or fate which has been written by The Creator. There is nothing bad about it. It's just another test. If I were tested with stuff, I will always remember. "Allah will never tests us if He knew we cannot handle it." 


"There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed. If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude." — Robert Brault  



Monday, May 23, 2011

Penganggur Tegar

It has been a month since I finished my days as a student. It has been quite sometimes since I wrote something. 


Kenapa? 

Malas?
 Tak jugak.

 Keje banyak?
Tak jugak. 

Sibuk?
 Lagi lah TAK . 



Takde kerja pon sekarang ni. Duduk meng'ANGGUR' je kat sini. 



Everytime I try to write something, the words doesn't seems to fit in right. Takde rhyme la dalam tulisan. Nampak tak kemas. Nampak tak cantik. Eh, bukan tak cantik. Tak sedap di baca. 



Erm, takpe. Saya cuba semula. 



So, sekarang buat apa? 
Duduk JB, umah kakak.Tolong kakak buat assignment. Dia sambung belajar dan malas pula. Tapi dia baik hati. Kenapa? Dia belikan saya macam-macam. Dia memenuhi kemahuan saya. Kemahuan macam mana? Dia suka shopping. Maka itu, saya yang suka shopping juga rasa tempiasnya. Mekasih..




Kat sini best juga. 

Sebab apa? 
Ada CIKODET.

 Siapa Cikodet? Anak sedara saya. Dengan dia la saya bergelak tawa, dengan dia la saya bercerita, dengan dia la saya berkata-kata, dan jangan terkejut, dia bergaduh dengan saya juga. Comel betol dia. Dengan dia saya gembira. Dialah kecintaan saya sekarang ni. 





Okeh. Saya akan mula menulis semula. Tulis je apa-apa. 
Oh. Saya dah ingat. Saya akan mula tulis "what I am grateful for today". Setiap hari. Ye. Setiap hari. 



Oklah untuk permulaan malam ni. Nak tido. 



*What I am grateful for today? 

My mak call this morning. Again, it's never better to hear her voice. Feels like the old time when she'll wake me up for school. :) 


I get two Indian attire, which was bought by my sister for me, I've been wanting it so much, now I get it. Too bad, the hand is too small. So, it's kinda 'choking' my arms.  Nevermind, we'll get our mother to fix it. She's the best. 

Good Night!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

What's been in my heart this passed few month

It's been a few months since we really stop talking about what had happened. since we chose not to have any other relation than friendship. I accepted it willingly, I will not ask anything more than friendship. and I stick to my promise. We hadn't really talk about what had happened. We can't actually. It'll either break me into tears or put you into a very long silence.

I never really write anything about it. I never really expressed what I felt. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I'll cry in my sleep; and some other times, I'll swallow it all. What I felt, what I should said, I'll swallow it all. That's the best for me, that's the best for you, that's the best for mak, that's the best for all.

I said little. I express none. The last time we ever met, I wipe off my tears before it fell on your shoulder. I hold your hands dear, because I promised that would be the last time I would ever hold it. I hugged you close, because I don't want to talk to you anymore.You sang to me for the last time, I would never ask anyone to sing to me anymore. And  I stared at you when you walk away, because I don't want to ever see or meet you again.

You don't know how hard it was. To be blamed for what I didn't do. To be accused of doing things which caused disgrace to my family and I. Which silently hurt mak's feeling. I was humiliated by what she said. Never in my life I've been so embarrassed like that by the person who knew so little, yet said so many things about me.

When in a relationship, the third person speaks the most about what should happen, what went wrong, addressing herself as the victim, wanting people to feel sympathy for her, the best I did was sitting in my room and cry, because I don't find what I felt worth debating. What SHOULD happen has nothing to do with her. What HAD happened is everything caused. If she thinks she's right, she wouldn't have to explain, the more she explains about her condition, the more she would say false things about me when the only thing she knew about me is my name. All false things has been said, as if I had no eyes and ears to see and listen. She doesn't know how much she had made me cry. No matter how much I care about you, no matter how much I had loved you, I'll back off. Not that I don't love. It's because, if this is love, it would never taunt me. It would never caused so much pain. It would never made me this hurt.

Sometimes, I took a peep into your life. Just to see how good you're doing. Sometimes, I forget how it feels to sit beside you. I forgot how you smile and I forgot your voice. You have become a distant face to me.

If you're reading this, I want you to know, the last time I cried on the phone asking you to read what she said about me, was the time I gave up on you.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What is love?

Actual children answers when asked 
"What is Love?"


“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” - Chrissy, age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” - Terri, age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” - Danny, age 7



“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” - Emily, age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” - Nikka, age 6

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” - Noelle, age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” - Tommy, age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” - Cindy, age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” - Clare, age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” - Elaine, age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.” - Chris, age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” - Mary Ann, age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” - Lauren, age 4

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” - Rebecca, age 8

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” - Karen, age 7

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age